


Half Sweet

by SassyLassy



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Boba tea au, M/M, Trans Roadhog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-10-17 11:31:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10593141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyLassy/pseuds/SassyLassy
Summary: Jamison is a construction worker who's crushing on the manager of the boba store he frequents; how does he go about finally talking to him? How does Mako, the manager, handle this fact of someone being into him like this?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deltadiva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltadiva/gifts).



"Gimme one boba, milk tea, half sweet. But only if it's as sweet as you." 

He grinned widely as he leaned on the counter, gold teeth glinting as his golden eyes basked in the beauty of the server before him, Mako.

The man was tall, a healthy weight, and the most piercing gaze he'd ever seen. His stoic expression melted back, a wide smile broke through those thick, kissable lips and before he knew what was happening he'd jumped the counter with all the grace of a whale escaping its enclosure.

"Take me, you beautiful bastard." He breathed huskily, grabbing Jamison and tilted him back, easily holding him up in those thick, strong, tattooed arms of his. "And that'll be the moon."

"The what?"

"Price of the boba and me. Cost is the moon."

"Uh. I'm a little short on moons..." and he was dropped like tonne of bricks. Jamison grunted as he hit the floor, rubbing the back of his head, before seeing the love of his life walk over to his co-worker.

He couldn't remember her name, but she was very big and strong with pink hair. She was beautiful, at least to some people she would be. But she was suddenly in Mako's embrace.

"No moon, no me, so guess I'm going to date my obviously gay best friend instead." He said, bluntly.

"Oh Mako," the pink haired woman gushed. "Even if I'm clearly a lesbian I'm going to throw that all away and date you!" Her thick Russian accent coated her words, and Jamison felt his face burn red.

His eyes opened and Jamison jolted back, startling the woman beside him on the bus. He blinked a few times before frantically looking out the window to make sure he hadn't missed his stop. Fate smiled upon the young man and his stop was just around the corner so he pressed the button to request the next stop.

Public transportation was Hell but it was all he had as his car was in for repairs that week. Jamison hopped off onto his stop and his feet moved him by muscle memory across the street towards his favourite place.

Everyone's Mad Here was a new tea place. They made a wide variety of teas, hot, cold, but most especially boba tea. It was one of the only places in town that served it, and it was delicious. The only thing that made the place more wonderful was Mako.

A tall, chubby man who managed the place. He was thick around the middle, arms, and legs. Tattooed arms strong enough to probably snap necks, yet he had a fairly young looking face. Some days he'd be there, some not. By now, Jamison knew when he'd have his days off and he told himself that there was nothing creepy about that. Today, he knew he’d be there and sure enough as he walked in, mobbed by young school girls in their high school uniforms wanting their morning boba, there he was behind the counter.

His tattooed arms were on display as they always were as he served a young girl her order, nodding to her as she thanked him and hurried off. Mako glanced his way and for a moment Jamison felt his heart lodge in his throat; even a slight glance from this guy was enough to make his palms sweaty.

Well, palm. One palm was mechanical and couldn’t sweat but if it could, he knew for sure it would be sweating profusely as his god hand was.

“Zarya,” he heard Mako speak and was reminded of the pink haired womans name at last, “Spill.”

“Da,” Zarya replied huffing a sigh as she grabbed an ever present mop and ‘slippery when wet’ sign that had a cute design of a boba tripping over itself before moving her way around to the corner of the store and began to mop up a spill.

Already in line, Jamison’s brain ran off the rails. He could do this; he could ask this guy out. But did he have to do it at his work place? Was this the right place? He’d dreamed of being suave and smooth and talking him into a date so many times in the past but when it came to actually doing it...? He felt his stomach empty out inside him.

Soon it was his turn, and Mako looked at him from over the register. “Morning.”

“G’day.”

“One boba, milk tea, half sweet, tapioca balls.” Mako recited before Jamison could even request his order. He must have been giving him an incredulous look since the serious face broke into just a hint of a smile, and Jamison heard the singing of angels at seeing his smile. “You order the same thing every day. Hard to forget.”

“O-oh, well...!” Jamison stuttered for a moment. “W-well today I think I wanna try something else.”

“Yeah?” Mako asked, arching a thick, pierced eyebrow.

His eyes quickly scanned the menu behind Mako. “Milk Tea Superstar!” he spluttered.

“Pearl, egg pudding, and herbal jelly?” the man asked with the same raised eyebrow.

He hadn’t tried egg pudding, much less herbal jelly. But he didn’t want to be predictable! Predictable was boring, and nobody wanted to date predictable people! “Yeah!” he leaned forward on the counter, offering a wink. “Hit me up with onna them bad boys.”

He swore he heard Zarya snort from her place in the corner.

“Sure.” Mako replied and after taking Jamison’s money, and giving him a ticket stub with his receipt and order number, he got to work on the drink.

Jamison shuffled over to stand in the corner, eyeing the posters on the wall. He’d stared at them enough times to know what specials were offered on what, and bemused by the k pop band posters that were displayed as said bands songs were played over the speakers.

“You should just ask him out.”

The voice had Jamison jolt and he spun around to come face to face with the tall, pink haired woman. “W-what??”

“You.” Zarya gestured to him. “You are liking my friend Mako, correct? You are always giving him puppy dog eyes, I can see it. May as well be wagging little tail.”

“I-I don’t--What’re you talkin’ about?” he folded his arms instinctively, face flushing as the burly woman who looked like she could bench press him without breaking a sweat laughed. She turned away, grabbing her mop.

“Mako gets off at two. You should come by, talk to him when not behind counter. Is better than longing.” and with that she walked back behind the counter to take the next order.

Jamison stewed as he stood there, face no doubt red as a tomato, arms still folded tightly over his chest to keep his heart from erupting out of his chest. She knew he liked Mako. She knew did that mean Mako know? Did she talk to him about the strange blond twink with missing limbs who made ‘puppy dog eyes’ at him? Did they laugh about it together? 

He felt sick suddenly, and even when Mako called his number, he numbly approached the counter to take his order. Like normal, their hands touched for the briefest of moments and, despite his present state of mind, Jamison felt a small rush at the touch. Mako had warm hands, big, nice, warm hands.

As he left the store his brain buzzed louder still. Should he come back at two? What if it was a trap? A joke? What if Mako and Zarya were dating and this was just something they did for fun? The Milk Tea Superstar tasted bitter in his mouth, and he regretted not getting his normal order. 

The day flew, and Jamison fought with himself over what he should do. On the work site he did his job as he always did, swinging his wrecking ball, downing buildings that were going to be reshaped into new, exciting things. But as the dust flew and the concrete crumbled all he could think about was the scenario.

How he’d show up at the store as Mako was leaving, ‘bump’ into him literally, strike up a conversation all calm like, then ask him out for a drink after work. His treat. And it wouldn’t be boba. Mako is probably sick of boba having making it all day long. Mako would thank him and go with him and they’d be furiously making out by night fall.

Perfect.

But life wasn’t perfect. 

Yet when two o’clock came around Jamison was there at the store, well, standing on the corner. Watching the door as it dinged open, and closed, as various people came and went. Even suits were appearing, grabbing a boba or two before taking off again. He felt his nerves eat at his stomach and he felt about ready to turn and leave but then he saw him.

Mako.

Wearing that white shirt, pink pants, black shoes and now that he was out of work a pair of black leather fingerless gloves and a matching jacket over his shirt. He was waving to someone inside; his replacement for the day, maybe Zarya, before heading out. 

He didn’t know what to do. Jamison stood there, hands in his pockets, anxiety eating him from the inside out. Should he wave? Smile? Walk past him? He didn’t know, Christ, he thought he had time to think about this now he was right here and he had time but what if he didn’t want it what if he just wanted to go home what if--

“Hey Half Sweet.”

The greeting caught Jamison off guard and he blinked, looking up to see Mako standing across from him. Thumbs hooked in his leather jackets pockets, the large man stood there in all his glory. Man... pink suited him.

“H... hi.”

“Want to stand here all day, or you want to walk?” Mako asked.

“...walkin’s good.”

So they fell into step with one another. They walked away from the store, unaware that Zarya was watching the two of them from the front window. She grinned widely, before fist pumping the air. At last! Just how long had it taken her to talk her friend Mako into talking to this guy? Far too long.

At least it finally paid off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We know how they finally started talking, but what happens after? This chapter focuses on Mako and Zarya, in contrast to Jamison's chapter last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This tale now involves trans male Mako, a heads up for any of you reading this. Thank you!

Mako had only gotten back to his apartment when his phone began vibrating wildly in his pocket. The voice of Nicki Minaj singing about getting pink hair told him immediately who it was on the other side of the phone. He pulled it out of his back pocket and didn't even have to look at the name, or photo, before answering it.

"Hey."

"So tell me," Zarya's thick Russian accent came through the phone. "how did it go?"

He internally groaned. While he greatly appreciated his best friend and all her support over these years, she was getting a little too pushy about this thing. "It was a walk and a talk."

"What's he like? Is he what you thought he would be?" she asked.

Mako had to sigh as he collapsed onto his couch. "Amazing." he admitted breathlessly. "He laughs loud. He talks with his hands. Energetic. The way he is in the store is so different to who he is outside and I love it. He made me laugh, Zarya. So much."

He could all but hear her kicking her feet at this information.

Flashback a few months ago. Imagine the scenario, Mako is there working at his work place. He's manning the front, taking orders, making drinks as Zarya works just as hard alongside him. It's the early morning rush, since he had learned very fast that nobody had a time limit as to when they wanted a boba. Some people would want it first thing in the morning, they loved it that much.

It was slowing down, and he was just cleaning up when the front door opened. The outside air blew in some leaves, and with the leaves in walked one of the most striking young men Mako had ever seen. Blond hair, orange eyes, a sharp nose, well shaped jaw, wearing construction gear.

Then he smiled and Mako was instantly smitten with him.

Fast forward back to the present and after months of silent pining and acting like he wasn't interested whatsoever, Mako had been on a date. Well, a kind of maybe date. Ears burning red, he rubbed at one of them as his other hand held the phone to his ear. "I don't know though." he said, quietly.

She groaned through her nose. "Mako. You cannot be letting these thoughts get to you."

When she didn't get an answer, she sat up on her bed. "You want me over?"

"...yeah." came the slow reply.

It, of course, didn't take her too long to get over. She got her sweats on, and ran her way over to the apartment that Mako called home. Making her way up the stairs she let herself in, as Mako was anticipating her coming over. She found him on the couch in front of his television, changed into his casuals; their school graduation sweater and simple grey slacks. 

"привет!" She greeted him, shutting the door behind him before swiftly joining him on the couch. "Now talk."

Not that she didn't know what he was about to say. 

Mako leaned back, exhaling. "He likes me. A lot; I'm not stupid. I can see he likes me."

"He was very obvious how he liked you." She replied with a shrug, lifting a hand to ruffle it through her pink hair. "I am surprised he did not climb over the counter to kiss you."

He laughs at that, before rubbing a hand against his pierced nose. "He's real funny. And smarter than he looks."

"Did you kiss him? Did he kiss you?" Zarya asked, getting to the point immediately.

"No!" 

"Did you want to?"

"...yeah."

She scoffed. "You should have. Grab him by his skinny jaw and kiss him on his lips. Knock socks off him!"

"I couldn't do that." Mako said, frowning, looking away from his friend. "What do I do?"

Zarya sighed. "If you are serious about this, if you are wanting to be calling him your boyfriend, you need to be telling him the truth."

The truth. Mako's face fell at that word. The truth was a very scary thing for Mako to face because there was a hidden truth to him. He had been born as īraka Rutledge; a beautiful rosy cheeked black haired baby girl. His family had raised him as their daughter, a bit of a tom boy, but a good kid.

When the child had begun to slowly realize what he felt, inside, was not a girl at all he had been lost and confused. He had found solace with his best friend, Aleksandra 'Zarya' Zaryanova. He'd spoken of his fears and confusion with his best friend as young as ten, which was when the thoughts that their body wasn't right for him had first begun to bud. It had taken years of talking and whispering but by the time īraka was sixteen, he had the courage to tell his parents.

His parents had been shockingly accepting. Together, the three had written out a list of names for him, and from them all īraka had chosen Mako. Ten years of hormone therapy and one top surgery later here he was, confident in himself enough, still best friends with Zarya, but the anxieties still nibbled at his mind. 

Especially when it came to dating guys.

"What if he expects me to have a huge dick." Mako said, suddenly, abruptly.

"Wear a strap on." Zarya replied casually, getting up to move towards the kitchen space to get a drink from the fridge. "Get a vibrating one. He will like that. One that also goes inside you too. Do not let him just have all the enjoyment."

"Zarya." He groaned, face flushing red.

"Mako." She echoed him, mimicking him even. Drink in hand, she returns to sit besides him. "He likes you. He is attracted to you. Because you are trans man you are thinking he will reject you?"

"YES!" Mako said loudly, enough to make her jump. "What if he strikes out at me? He's a construction worker, what if he gets his friends to come around and fuck me up? What if--"

Zarya reached out with both arms and wrapped them around his head, tugging Mako down so his head was resting on her chest. She rested her chin atop his head, eyes squeezing shut. "Mako. You know that if any man touch you like that, I will personally break his arms. He will be in hospital to recover from touching you. I promise you this when we were children and I mean it more now."

He fell silent, before slowly wrapping his arms down around her middle. "I want this to work out." he mumbles. "I want to just... get to know him more. I want to kiss his stupid goofy face."

"You will!" Zarya pulled back, looking down at him. "

He only groaned. To be as confident as Zarya was a wonder. Of course he loved his body, it was large and powerful just how he'd wanted it to be. Zarya was just as tough if not more so, the two would arm wrestle just for kicks sometimes. But when it boiled down to the prospect of outing himself as a trans man to a man he was attracted to, all that confidence melted like ice in summer. 

"Remember when that asshole called you a horrible slur?" Zarya suddenly asked. "You remember, our beach visit a few years ago."

"Hm." He smiled, thick lips pulling back to show his toothy grin. "You clotheslined him into the sand."

"And you spit on him!" Zarya laughed, slapping her hand on her knee. "Not so tough then was he? What we did to him, we must do to these insecurities you have! Destroy, conquer, and spit on. I know you can do it, Mako."

He smiled weakly, before pulling his phone out from his back pocket. Half Sweet, as was his nickname to Mako, was already a contact in his phone. He scrolled to find the contact, staring at it blankly. Of course he'd snapped a photo of him that day, sitting on the park bench giving a devil sign with his good hand and sticking his tongue out. Christ, he was even winking. 

"You helped me when I was asking if I could like girls." Zarya spoke softer now, linking her fingers together. "First person I told was you. Like you telling me you were boy. We are stronger together, and I am being here for you much as I can. But some of this you must fight alone."

"I know. Can't have you hold my hand with everything. That'd be awkward as fuck." He agreed. 

"Very! Now, when you are ready to tell your little skinny man about yourself you do it with courage! Feel it in your core. Yes?" She asked, tilting her head. 

"Yes." He pressed the call button with his thumb and stood up, putting the phone to his ear. It only rang once. "Half Sweet." He greeted him simply, voice steady though his face was reddening slowly. "Know we just split but I wanna see you tonight. That okay?"

Zarya could hear the excited chatter coming out of his phone, and she had to grin widely at how red her friends face was. 

"Yeah, okay. Where we split, the park. Six? Cool. See you there." Waiting for a farewell he hung up, taking a deep intake of breath through his pierced nose. "I'm terrified." He said through a smile. 

"That means you are alive." Zarya replied. "But do not let it rule you. You are above it! You are Mako Rutledge! Manager of We're all Mad Here, proud gay trans man! And you are going to date your little tall twink Half Sweet!"

"His names Jamison."

"Half Sweet is better."

"Yeah, it is."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamison readies himself for his second date with Mako on the same day, and he has no idea as to what's coming.

The kettle whistled noisily from its place on the counter. Steam hissed into the open air of the kitchen before its handle was grabbed and the kettle was drawn over a mug before it was poured in. Just as a spoon full of sugar was being added to the hot cup of tea, the phone on the wall began ringing.

Grabbing the phone, the tanned brown young woman brought the phone to her ear, wedging it between her shoulder and her ear. "Hello?"

"PHARAH." 

Fareeha winced, instantly regretting putting the phone so close. "Must you?" she asked, dryly.

"He just called me," Jamison spluttered over the phone. "He wants to see me again!"

"Well good," Fareeha said as she made a second mug of hot tea. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"TONIGHT."

She blinked, and frowned a little. "Well. That's unusual."

"I KNOW." 

Fareeha, or Pharah as she was more known for, was one of Jamison's co-workers. On top of that, she was somewhat like a friend. Okay, maybe a lot like a friend. Ever since being set to jobs together a few months ago, and being paired up for multiple contracts in demolition, the two had formed somewhat of an unlikely friendship. Him, the obnoxiously loud twink who smelt of burning rubber no matter what and she, the cool, confident bisexual woman who could get anyone she wanted with a well raised eyebrow and smile.

"Who is that?" Ana, her mother, asked from her place in front of the television.

"It's the Rat." Fareeha answered as she brought her mother her mug of tea.

"Oh is he coming over?" she asked, sitting up a little in her seat. "Tell him we have some left over Shawerma, he likes that."

"No, mother." she covered the reciever with her hand. "He is not coming over." pausing, she brought the phone back to her ear. "You're not coming over, are you?"

When he'd come over, her mother tended to go into full on mother mode. In Ana's eyes (well, eye, she only had one) Jamison Fawkes was an underfed malnourished orphan and she had decided the first moment she met him on one of their past work sites that he needed a mother figure in his life. And that mother figure would be her. So whenever Fareeha would forget her lunch at home, and Ana would end up bringing it to her workplace, she would pack extra for the skinny boy with the crazy hair style.

"What? No! He wants to SEE ME AGAIN. ToNIGHT." Jamison emphasized as he was throwing clothing onto his bed, trying to find something 'nice' to wear. "Do you know what that means?"

"No, tell me." she replied, taking her seat on the couch.

"I don't know that's why I'm askin' ya!" he shot back.

Fareeha groaned and smothered her face with her hand, and gave her head a pitiful shake. This boy was a lost cause, beyond a doubt. She lowered her hand, got comfortable again on the recliner chair and blew some of her fringe out of her eyes. “Look, he wants to see you again. And you hung out for what, a few hours today?”

“Yeah, yeah.” he replied, lifting a shirt to give it a sniff to see if it stunk of sweat or not. 

“So he wants to see you again,” she continued, lifting her mug of tea. “Maybe he wants to rail you into the floor.”

“A strong possibility.” Ana added, loudly, so the boy could hear her agreement. 

The fact that Ana was listening in on this conversation did nothing to help with Jamison’s anxiety as he threw some torn off womens’ khaki’s (the only that would fit him properly) off of his bed onto the floor. “What if he does?” he asks, frantic as he threw open a drawer of clothes to rummage through one handed as the other held his phone to his ear. “Shit, I ain’t been with a bloke before!”

“I know, you skinny little virgin.” Fareeha replied, taking a well deserved sip from her mug. “You’re twenty five and not so much as kissed a guy. It’s sad.”

“Hush.” Ana spoke up again, stirring some sugar into her mug of tea. “It is not a requirement to lose your virginity by a certain age. That is nonsense speaking.”

“This isn’t your conversation mother, unless you want to take over?” she asked, even playfully offering the phone to her mother.

It was promptly snatched out of her hand by the older woman, her expression turning from smugness to shock. “Mother no!”

“Listen to me, Jamison.” Ana said in her most professional Mom voice she could muster. “Whatever happens tonight you just be yourself. That is what drew him to you, so just keep being you. And if he wants something you can’t or won’t give you say no. If he can’t accept a no he isn’t worth it.”

Then she handed the phone right back to her daughter, and gave her a double thumbs up.

“...thanks, Mother.”

“Yeah thanks.” Jamison called out over the phone. “Look, okay. I’m gonna try and find something to wear in this shit pile and I’ll message you.”

“You always do.”

~*~

Now that he was standing here, at the park, Mako could feel his bravery emptying out within him. His heart was racing fast within his chest, he could feel it starting to heat up. He fiddled with his fingernails, looking down at them, before taking a deep breath and forced them into the pockets of his hoodie. He was calm and confident earlier today, talking, flirting, walking with Jamison so why was he being a huge stupid idiot now?

Oh yeah, because he was about to out himself as a trans man to the guy he’d been crushing on for months and he had no idea if he was a transphobe or not.

What if he didn’t believe him? What if he demanded proof? Shit, what would he expect Mako to do, lift his shirt to show his chest surgical scarring? Drop his dacks to show the goods? Shit. Maybe he should leave. But then what, what would he do or say when Jamison shows up for his boba on Monday morning? Hide in the back? What kind of behaviour was that for a manager?

“Mako, hey!”

He spun around and there he was; wearing leather pants, jacket with spikes, a band t-shirt he’d never heard of and boots covered in studs. Looking at him you wouldn’t even know he had a prosthetic leg, much less the hand unless you really looked at his right hand and noticed it was bright orange instead of a healthy fleshy pink.

“You look like you fell into a punk trash bin.” Mako commented.

“Oh, so I captured the look I wanted.” Jamison replied with a toothy grin. 

Naturally he took in the sight of the massive, towering form that was Mako. His man in pink. Tonight he was wearing pretty baggy clothing, a big hood, baggy black jeans, and sneakers that looked like they hadn’t been tied in years. Even his black hair which was normally tied back was down and loose, framing his face. 

“Seems so.” 

The two stood there, somewhat awkwardly, for a few seconds before Mako cleared his throat. “You’re wondering why I asked you out again huh?”

“Only a bit mate, yeah.” he smiled, weakly. “Somethin’ up?”

“Yeah.” Mako returned the smile before moving towards the nearest bench that was sat beneath a huge tree that had been here for seemingly forever. “Sit with me.” he requested, softly.

Now Jamison was worried. But he sat besides him as instructed, wishing he had something to fiddle with with his hands as he could feel the tension in the air. “What’s wrong? We ain’t known each other proper real long mate but I can tell something’s eatin’ ya. What is it?” he asked.

Mako settled as comfortably as he could on the hard bench, biting at his bottom lip before lifting his hand to stroke at his facial hair. A reminder. A needed one, right now. “I got to tell you something. It’s real important. But, I’m afraid that if I tell you, you won’t want to see me any more and I’m going to be honest.” he looked across to Jamison sitting there in his leather, with his messy hair, and adorably stupid looking face. “I want something to be here. I spend my mornings at work waiting for you to show up. I’d like to...” he pauses for a moment, before smiling weakly. “Call you my boyfriend.”

The skinny man smiled widely at that, and sat up a little straighter on the bench. “Ya do?”

“Yeah I do.” Mako replied. “But. Like I said I need to tell you something and I’m afraid you’ll hate me.”

Jamison’s expression shifted from excitement to immediate worry. “What?” he asked, “Why would I hate you? Or not wanna date ya? Cuz, lemme be the honest one here mate, you’re hot as fuck.”

“Stop that...”

“I mean it. You’re just so... just, look at you!” Jamison was talking with his hands again, spreading them out, gesturing wildly towards him excitedly. “You’re so big ‘n tall and your face is so fucking pretty and handsome I don’t know how you do it but you do and I don’t see how nobody ain’t snapped you up yet cuz you’re one Hell of a catch for anyone out there and here I am running my mouth cuz I’m terrified of what’s happening and I don’t know what you’re about to tell me but I’m ready for it I’m good I’m ready to listen I’m here.”

His manic energy was almost calming, if not adorable. Jamison was just a ball of energy and activity and even if he was just as afraid as he was, he was still here. Nor was he putting up a tough guy persona either. He appreciated that more than Jamison probably knew.

Well, now or never. Previously, even before Jamison became a staple in his morning routines at work, Mako had rehearsed this to himself in the mirror. Just in case one day a guy did show genuine interest in him. So he’d have a small speech almost to explain everything. But talking to yourself in the mirror is very different to what you say to somebody face to face, isn’t it? Here, with Jamsion looking at him like this, waiting for whatever piece of news he was about to hand him had all the words he’d worked in his head melt like snow in Summer.

“I’m trans.” is all he can blurt out in one simple, two worded, crude sentence. 

The worried look on Jamison’s face remained, but it began to melt in confusion. “What?” he asked.

“Trans.” Mako repeats a second time. “I’m.. I’m a trans guy.” he wasn’t about to ask if Jamison knew what that meant, in this day and age there was a lot more to be known about people like him compared to how it used to be, but he still felt the need to explain more. “I was assigned female at birth but ever since I can really remember I’ve felt like a guy. So I transitioned. I became who I always was and now here I am sitting with you on a bench telling you who I am because, like I said, I want to date you but I don’t want to... disappoint you or anything.”

He sat back and waited, all but holding his breath as he watched Jamison’s face. He would wait for the disappointed look, or even a disgusted, and angry one. One hand was in his hood pocket, on his phone, ready to send a text to Zarya if things went Bad. She’d insisted on this for his sake before he’d head out that night.

_“If things are looking bad, send me text. Does not matter if is word or jumble of letters or anything. I will know to come.”_

Jamison sat there in quiet, contemplative silence for a moment. He’d never met a trans person before, at least, one he knew about. For all he knew a good amount of folk around him could be that way and he’d never know because it was never his business to know. But now here Mako was, telling him this, all while looking about ready to book it.

The fact a guy taller, larger, and stronger than him looked afraid of him was a scenario Jamison would never have imagined himself in. He didn’t know how to process it entirely, at least not immediately. He’d probably think on this a lot later tonight when laying in bed thinking about it all.

But here was here, and this was now.

“Disappoint me.. You said you’d think you’d disappoint me?” Jamison asked, at last, after finding his voice.

“Yeah.” Mako answered, hand still in his pocket. “Like... if you. Expect me to have...”

Jamison scoffed a bit. “Mate, I don’t care ‘bout sex. I’m twenty fuckin’ five years old and I’ve never been with a bloke. Or a woman. Or anyone.” he scratched at his chin, glancing away. “I ain’t exactly the most handsome bloke to most people, so it’s not like I got experience with anything like this. Me friend Fareeha calls me the skinny virgin and she’s more or less right.”

“Really...? With your good looks?” Mako asked, teasing just a fraction but being genuinely honest at the same time. To him, Jamison was handsome. He had a good strong jaw line, his nose was pointed, he had strong eyebrows with confidently wild eyes and he was just so appealing in so many ways for how different he was. How was it he hadn’t been with anyone, at all?

The blond laughed, clapping his two hands together, the sound odd considering one was metallic. “That was a good one, mate!” he grins, widely, before he leans in only a little. “Honestly though, Mako... it’s fine.”

“It’s fine?” Mako was momentarily lost, confused.

“Yeah,” Jamison nods his head, grin melting into a smile before he slowly reached his flesh hand out to touch it against the only visible one of Mako’s he could see. “I like you mate. I been diggin’ you for so long and I been wanting to get to know you so bad ‘n this is so much of you to learn and I love it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I do! I ain’t foolin’, ain’t lyin, I mean it. I’m honestly... shit, I was afraid you wanted to fuck me!”

Mako had to snort at how abrupt he said that, and he had to laugh as Jamison joined him, that hand on his own squeezing for just a moment before drawing back. 

“Honest I was afraid you wanted ta do that ‘n I ain’t in no way ready for that sorta step with anyone!” Jamison fully admitted. 

“You’re the first guy I’ve ever met who doesn’t have sex on the brain.” Mako scoffed, releasing the phone at last, lifting his hand to wipe at his eye for a second. 

“Well I’d be lyin’ if I didn’t think about it a few times but honestly... I wanna know you, Mako.” he says, shifting on the bench, maybe moving himself a bit closer towards the other. “I want to get to know you ‘n go on dates with you and do all that romantic shit. Then when we’re both ready for it we can do that big thing if you want.”

Shit. How could he not adore him?

“I’m... stunned.” Mako admits quietly. “I’ve always hoped that... the guy I’d like, and tell this to, wouldn’t freak out over me.”

“Well. Good! Glad I could be the bloke to not wig out.” Jamison smiles, before again his hand somehow finds itself on one of Mako’s own, squeezing it around one of his fingers. “You hungry? I find eatin’ something after a stressful thing helps lots. Specially if there’s chocolate involved.”

“That sounds fucking amazing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big shout out to my good friend Ashton who's helped me a lot constructing some very sensitive content for this, and the previous chapter. You're a super star!!
> 
> And should there be more to this story? We shall see if I do more! Thank you to everyone who's read and continues to enjoy this piece, you're all angels.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a big party happening with Mako's family and he wants to bring Jamison along. He's never been around an overly large, loud group of people before so let's see how he manages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the updates for this movie is very far between, and I apologize for that. So allow me to take a moment to thank all of those who patiently await an update, thank you!

So it had, so far, been one of the most amazing months in Jamison's life. He had for the first time in his life an official boyfriend. The highlight of his day used to be just showing up at We're All Mad Here to get his boba and scope out the super sexy man behind the counter. Sure, going there was still a highlight but it was improved even more so because that amazingly sexy hunk of a man behind the counter was his boyfriend and what's better than seeing your boyfriend in the mornings?

"G'mornin' light of my life!" Jamison said, as usual his unashamedly proud self. Did he care there was a bunch of teenage girls behind him in line? Not at all.

"Hey Half Sweet." Mako replied, smile turning from a 'I'm happy to serve you' smile to a 'Oh it's my amazing boyfriend' smile. "Regular?"

"Please." 

Mako hummed as he made the drink. "So, I have news." he said; given that the two worked such odd hours sometimes it was just best to discuss things while Jamison came to his store in the mornings. It was more intimate, and better than text and phone calls.

"Oh I love news." Jamison replied, leaning his elbow on the counter while his other hand waved to Zarya who returned the wave.

"Mm. It's my uncle's 50th this weekend," Mako began to ease the tapioca balls into the drink. "And since I've been telling my folks about you, they really want you to come. I uh," he paused to look back at his boyfriend for a moment. "Understand going straight into a big party might be a bit too much for you. If you don't want to come we can just do a more standard meet the parents dinner or-"

"Nah mate!" the blond stood up, eyes shining. "Count me in! I love parties!" on top of that he'd be meeting Mako's family and from what he'd heard they were quite possibly the most accepting bunch of people on the planet. And if he and Mako were going to be super ultra serious, isn't it important to meet the family?

Handing the drink over, Mako closes his hand now fully around Jamison's one flesh one and squeezes a little. "Great. I'll let them know you're coming."

"Bonza." Jamison grinned, "Have a nice day!"

"Try to stay out of trouble."

"I'll be on me best behavior."

Their way of saying 'I love you' without saying it out loud. Proud and open as they were, Mako didn't exactly want to make his loyal customers too uncomfortable. Even if he was pretty much sure he was known as the big gay guy who ran the boba store. No shame in that, really. 

Drink obtained Jamison waved and made his way out, glad that now his car was fixed. No more long bus commutes. He could drive to see Mako, hop into his car, and speed his way to the work site he was working on that day. Today it was preparing some huge lot of land for a new multi-million dollar hospital that was going to take several years to make. When he parked he saw, judging by the moped, that Fareeha was already here.

And sure enough there she was, setting up for the day.

"Jamie." she greeted him, and eyed the boba in his hand. "Must you bring that onto the work site?"

"What?" he asked, taking a sip. "Other blokes bring their cold coffee stuff why can't I bring me boba? Too gay for them?"

"You know how some of these assholes are." Fareeha said, "Their masculinity is so weak."

"Too right." he agreed, taking another obnoxiously loud sip of his drink. "So, Mako's asked me to go to a big shindig this weekend ta meet his family."

"Oooh," she smiled slowly. "Things are getting serious then?"

"Guess so," he mumbled as he began to change into his work shoes. The ones with steel toe tips even if his right foot was fake he still needed that protection.

"So you've done it yet?" 

Straight to the point, that was Fareeha. Jamison felt his face flush. "No, we ain't done it yet."

"Would it be weird I mean, he's him but he's also got--"

Jamison gave her a look that stopped her trail of thought, and froze the words on her tongue. When he'd told her that Mako was trans, she didn't believe him at first. She'd seen the guy, she had been to that store with Jamison when he insisted that she try the weird Asian drink he liked but it hadn't been for him. And she had seen Mako; this huge, tall guy with thick arms and tattoos that ran up along both arms. Quite possibly one of the most masculine guys she'd ever seen and when she was told he'd been born a girl she didn't believe it.

"Right, sorry."

"Mako's a man." Jamison said as he got to his feet, kicking one foot to make sure his boot was on comfortably. "And if we ever do fuck, it'll be no different to any of the boinking you've done in your life."

She had to laugh at that. "I'll bet. If it happens."

"If." he could feel a bit of sweat on his forehead at the very thought of doing 'It'. He and Mako had kissed only a few times, the two of them being surprisingly careful and slow together. There was a great lot of hand-holding, that was something neither of them were shy about and they'd even cuddled a good few times on Jamison's couch while watching a dumb movie. But more than that? Sex? A month in and it hadn't happened and honestly the two of them seemed quite perfectly fine with that.

To someone like Fareeha though, that was weird. Wrong, even. But he never let her jokes get to him too much.

"Still!" she smiled, grabbing her hard hat and tugged it onto her head. "A party, hope you have a good time and the family doesn't scare you too much."

"Same man."

~*~

"So how I look?" Jamison asked, grinning toothily as he stood back and opened his arms out. He was dressed in nice dressy black slacks, matching boots, a red shirt with one of his favourite black leather jackets over that. His hair, patchy and messy as it was, was combed back as it could be. 

Mako, dressed equally casual in a nice dark blue suit with a black tie and yellow tie. He'd come over to Jamison's to pick him up, and drive him to the party as was customary. Giving him a judging look, going so far to stroke his chin with his fingers Mako gives him a really good, long hard look. Jamison could feel the sweat running down the back of his neck. Shit. He didn’t look nice. He’d dressed wrong. Too casual? Too classy? 

When he was suddenly embraced and felt Mako’s lips pressing a kiss to his forehead though, he knew he was fine. Stress left him in the form of a heavy breath. “You look great.” Mako drew back, lifting a hand to nudge at Jamison’s jaw playfully. “So handsome.”

“Aw get off with that,” Jamison felt himself redden at such a simple compliment. Even after a month of dating all Mako had to do was say one sweet word with that perfect smile of his and he’d be like putty in his hands. 

“I mean it.” Mako has to insist, smiling that brilliant smile of his. “So you’re really ready for this? We can still not go, and we can do a more private meeting with my folks...”

“Yes!” he stood to his full height, and clenched both his hands with a determined grin on his face. “You been askin’ me this since I agreed, you don’t want me meetin’ your folks or something?”

Mako looked caught off guard. “W-what? No, of course not.”

Jamison smiled a bit, before moving in closer and linked his left fingers with Mako’s own. “I know you’re lookin’ out for me cuz I get over stimulated ‘bout some stuff. But I’ll be fine. This is your family and I wanna meet them.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Again, yes!”

~*~

So that’s how he came to be here. The hall being rented out was pretty big, and when Mako had pulled up there were already a whole lot of cars and vans parked around. Out back he could smell the rich scent of hot food being cooked, most likely barbecue judging by the smell of meat. It instantly made him hungry, but combining that with the slight sense of nerves one would normally obtain when meeting with your boyfriend's family, it only made his stomach feel like butterflies.

There were so many of them, of so many ages. He saw toddlers running around playing together, and in the same space he saw older people who looked like they were pushing ninety. And you could tell they were all of the same family. Black hair, brown eyes, olive skin, broad noses, and so many of them had tattoos...! The tattoos on Mako’s arms suddenly made a whole lot more sense.

Even one of the eldest looking men here had tattoos on his chin.

“There you are!!”

A voice broke through the crowd and Jamison watched as a short woman came rushing through the crowd. Her chin was tattooed with swirls and thick lines, a very interesting look on a woman. She had a full face, a beauty spot on her cheek, and a very familiar pair of eyes. They were Mako’s. Or, did Mako have hers?

“It’s so nice to meet you at last!” the short woman, hair a mess of thick black curls moved towards him and took his two hands into her own. It was clear she wanted to hug him, he could see a wanna-be-hugger a mile away. “Mako’s told us so much about you! I was beginning to worry he’d never bring you over!”

Jamison offers a nervous smile. “Hope he’s said good stuff...!” she may not have introduced herself but he knew who she was. How could he not?

“Of course!” she gushes, turning her head to look up at her son. “Sometimes he can’t not talk about you, can’t you my little kumara?”

“Whaea,” Mako’s face was turning a slow shade of red. “Don’t call me that in front of Jamison.”

“What’s kumara mean?” Jamison asks, eager to learn.

“It means nothing.” 

“It means sweet potato.”

The fact the two of them had answered him at the same time made this family even more endearing; even if there was a screaming baby somewhere that was ringing in his ears. He snorted a bit, biting his bottom lip. “Sweet potato?”

“Stop it.” Mako huffs. He coughs, straightened himself up, and reached a hand out to touch the woman’s shoulder but looks to Jamison. “Jamie, this is my whaea. My mother.”

Before she could say anything further, the group was joined once more by somebody new. And just by looking at this towering, large, muscular man who joined them Jamison knew who this was.

“You aren’t embarrassing Mako are you, Anika?”

“Of course not Niko.” Anika replied humbly, gazing up innocently to the man whose voice could most likely melt the polar ice caps if he sung Barry White at it.

The man smiled a very familiar smile; Jamison had seen Mako pull the same kind of smile. And like Mako, he too had tattoos up his arms (at least those visible, he was wearing a short sleeved shirt that showed off both the tattoos but also just how thick his arms were). The man, Niko, suddenly thrust his large hand forward towards Jamison, making him jump back if just a little.

Mako was tall after all; his dad was taller. Sure by just a few inches, but still!

“Name’s Niko. You’re Jamison, yeh?” he asked, his accent so thickly rooted in New Zealand you wouldn’t be shocked if a sheep suddenly came trotting around the corner.

“Y-yeah!” Jamison took his hand, and his arm was rightly shook by the large man. God, felt like he could snap his arm like a twig with no effort whatsoever.

“Welcome, welcome!” Niko smiled, releasing his hold on Jamison’s poor arm. “This is going to be one Hell of an introduction to the family. You ready?”

“Ready as I can be...!”

After a few hours it felt as if he wasn’t really as ready as he thought he was. There was just so much noise, and people. Couple that with the music playing over a set of stereos, the thick smell of food being cooked, it was unlike anything he’d ever really experienced before. Sure, he was used to the sounds of his work sites, he loved the sounds of demolition and things being torn down but this was a whole other kind of noise he’d never really felt before.

He’d lost track of how many people he’d been introduced to. There were nephews, nieces, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, even a great grandparent who looked so very old and wrinkly. Could he recall anyone’s names beyond Mako’s, Anika and Niko? Not at all. 

But now he was safe at a table with the three, and Jamison had been a bit on the naughty side by helping himself to some of the pretzels that were on offer on the table. He’d finished a whole bowl full and now that the food was beginning to be brought out he regretted it because this food looked absolutely amazing.

“You know without all the loud noise this almost could be a genuine meeting just the parents dinner couldn’t it?” Anika asked as she picked up her glass of water.

“Almost.” Jamison smiled sheepishly as he moved some shellfish from the serving tray onto his plate. There was a lot of seafood here, as well as salads, and some pork though he knew Mako wouldn’t be touching that stuff with a ten foot pole. 

“So, Mako’s told you about us but we don’t know anything about your family.” Niko spoke up as he picked up his knife and fork and began to tuck into a piece of slow cooked pork on his plate. “We know you work in construction, or destruction, but what about your parents? Siblings?”

Jamison froze for a moment and if he’d been more aware of his surroundings he may have been able to make out in the corner of his eye the vision of Mako making the kind of face and gestures one does when a parental figure has asked a question they shouldn’t have. This included mouthing the word ‘no’ and waving his hands in a way one would half expect to see at an airport, refusing a plane to land somewhere. Regardless of Mako’s attempt, the question had been asked.

“What?” Niko mouthed back.

“Uhh,” Jamison slowly lowered his utensils and offered the two an attempt at a smile. There wasn’t ever an easy way to bridge this story, people always ended up feeling sorry for him and that wasn’t exactly what he wanted. “I dunno where my blood parents are. Dunno who me old man was, all I know ‘bout my mum was she was into drugs so they took me offa her.”

Anika’s expression moved from curious to a distinct glare of anger. “Took you away from her?”

“Yeah, the cops. Or uh, social services. For the best, really. Got me put into a real nice foster home ‘n I technically got a whole lotta siblings but we’re not legally siblings y’know?” Jamison asks, looking from Anika to Niko, then back again. “Last count I got like, seven brothers and sisters? Think she’s taken in a pair of twins now...”

“He’s fine.” Mako spoke up before either of his parents could make some kind of comment about if Jamison was alright or not. “He’s got a job, his own place and everything.”

“And you.” 

Mako’s face flushed red, and he lowered his gaze in a flattered way. “Y-yeah, and me.”

“Well,” Anika said after a moment of fighting very strong motherly instincts that wanted her to move over to the boys side of the table and give Jamison a big hug, “Life may have started rough for you but I’m so proud of you for reaching where you have. That’s such a strong sign of your character and inner strength.”

“You’re gonna make me blush.” 

“Well good, you need some colour on those cheeks you’re so pale for someone who works in the sun all day!” she commented.

“Hey I’m plenty freckly!” Jamison gestured to his face, in particular one freckle that was on the left side of his nose.

“Be careful about those,” Niko said as he reached for a drink of beer. “My uncle had a sunspot that turned into cancer. Can’t mess around with those.”

Jamison was glad the topic shifted from the matter of his parents to more trivial things like family medical history, and even further introductions to more family that Jamison most likely wouldn’t be able to remember. He had a pretty bad memory after all, Mako knew this, and hopefully the family would forgive him for not recalling the name of the fifth little cousin Mako had that he’d met only an hour ago.

When he checked his watch, he was surprised to see it was almost midnight. Both he and Mako had taken to step outside to get some fresh air from the hall which was a little stuffy, and he was glad for it even if the cool air was so crisp he could see his own breathing. Mako walked up behind him and wrapped both his arms around him, and rested his chin gently against his shoulder.

“You done so well tonight.” Mako said in an overly fond, warm tone of voice.

He could smell the faint scent of wine and lemonade on Mako’s breath. Giving a small snort, Jamison lifted a hand and rested it against one of Mako’s arms. God he was so warm and comfortable. “Well you’re here. If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t be here ya know.”

“Smartass.”

“I had fun.” he continues after a moment, finger drawing circles against the swirls on Mako’s tattooed arm. “Are we heading back soon? Took us a while to get here it’ll be like, near two if we leave now..”

“Uh.” Mako blinks before drawing back. “Didn’t I tell you...?”

“Tell me what?”

“We’re crashing at my parents place tonight I..” he blinked a few more times, frowning. “I swore I told you we were going to be sleeping at their place. They live just a few minutes away and it’ll be easier, plus I been drinking..” Mako looked apologetic, reaching a hand out and taking Jamison’s good hand into his. “I’m sorry, I swear I remember telling you-”

“It’s okay mate! It’s okay!” giving a small laugh Jamison reaches for his face with his prosthetic hand, touching the soft, yet strong cheek of his towering boyfriend. “We can crash at your parents that’s no big deal! Sides, now I get ta see the house where you grew up. It’s kinda exciting...!”

Mako just looked thankful Jamison didn’t think he’d lied to him, or kept a truth away from him. He swore he’d told him, or maybe in the excitement of seeing his family again and introducing his boyfriend to them he’d just plum forgotten. Regardless of how things came to be like this he has to wrap his arms once again around his skinny blond boyfriend and pull him in, drawing close and brushed his nose against his.

“S’it ok if I kiss you here?” he asked, voice incredibly low.

God he loved that about him. Mako always asked before he kissed him, each and every time and it never got old. He offered a shaky little giggle, looping his good arm up, and around, to wrap it against the back of Mako’s neck. 

“With your family near by? That okay with you?” Jamison asks quietly.

“Mmh. Can I..?”

He paused a moment. His family, this Rutledge group, loved Mako. They loved their big, fat, trans cousin, nephew, son, grandson, great grandson without question. And they also knew he was gay, he’d brought him around after all and proudly introduced him to every single one as his boyfriend. These people were accepting and even if there were a few near by taking in a small smoke break, or drinking in the cold air like the two of them were, he felt surprisingly at ease and calm.

Probably because Mako was right here, arms around him, lips so tantalizingly close to his own.

Oh he did want to kiss him so badly.

“Yes.”

It wasn’t their first kiss, not at all. The two had softly exchanged kisses, had made out on a messy bed, or a disorganized couch. But it felt like the first one all over again. It was warm, electric, and so full of affection Jamison felt his whole body tremble and he knew that it wasn’t because of the cool air.

He loved it.

And he loved him, even more so.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for one of the biggest 'firsts' a couple could endure together.
> 
> First time sleeping with one another in a bed.

Jamison felt a rush of both adrenaline and anxiety as he was shown into the house by Mako. It was, suitably, fairly large. The family was big, full of tall, giant people who could most likely crush him if they really wanted to. That, or didn't notice his existence. And for a man who was 6'6 feeling small was incredibly new and he wasn't sure if he took to it or not. What he did take to was Mako's warm hand holding onto his as he led him up the stairs. Along the way they passed many a framed photograph of the Rutledge family. There was wedding photos, newborn portraits, all sorts of things.

He realized there wasn't really any photographs of Mako until he was in his late teen years. No visible baby photos outside of one, and that was shortly after he'd been born. There he was in his mum's arms, his father's arm around her, and the baby was a chubby cheeked, red faced wrinkly thing with jet black hair that was slicked and messy against his mother's chest. He didn't get too long to look at it as Mako's hand held firm around his, leading him up the rest of the stairs.

"You got a nice place, well, your folks do." Jamison piped up as they reached the top floor. 

"Thanks," Mako snorted. "Grew up in this house so I'm pretty fond of it myself." He came to a pause outside a door which looked like it had been repainted a few times in its life. The handle was worn, and had dents on it from nails long since removed. "...I think my room's clean. I don't remember last time I slept here," he admits. "So if you see anything just uh. Kick it under the bed okay?"

"Even your naughty mags?" he asked, grinning widely.

Mako's eyes widened with a sudden horror. Oh god, had he left something incriminating on the floor or just peeking out to be spotted by his boyfriend? He held up a finger and rushed into the room at such a speed it caused near by frames to rattle on the walls. Not a minute later the door is thrown open by him, face flushed, hand on the door way, other on his waist in an attempt to look calm and collected. "Nope, nothing wrong!" he said immediately. "All clear."

"Riiiight..."

The walls were a nice creamy white colour, and much like Mako's apartment there was a pig theme going on. Only here, it was much more prevalent. Ceramic pig figurines, frames with pigs on them, an assortment of plush toy piggies of various sizes had a whole shelf of a bookshelf to themselves. They came in a range of colours too, not just pink, or black, or brown. There were a few band posters still on the wall, blue tack all but embedded in the walls, no longer capable of being removed. See through curtains were open, a screen window allowing a cool breeze in but none of the bugs that came with it.

The big bed with white bed posts looked nice and comfy and upon seeing it Jamison remembered he was sleeping here, in Mako's bed, in his room, in the house he was born and raised in. They'd never slept together, not in any context of the word. Sure, a lazy nap here and there but legitimately getting into the same bed to sleep alongside one another? New territory. Insanely new.

"It was a good night huh?" Mako asked as he shut the door behind them. "Sorry again if my family was too... uh. Big. Loud. Scary."

He snorted loudly. "Mate, they were great. Figure you'd come from a good family 'n I was right. Love it when that happens." Jamison closes the space between them and wrapped his arms as far as he could around Mako's large body, and rested his head against his arm. Lord above he loved this, just the contact. Being able to touch Mako, to feel the warmth of his muscles, his belly, his everything. And he was already feeling pretty good from a good night out, this only brought on a sense of pure bliss.

And they hadn't even gotten into bed yet.

It was only now when a dawning realization struck Jamison up the back of the head. They were going to be sleeping here, in Mako’s bed yes he knew that but what the heck was he going to wear? He hadn’t brought anything to sleep in and, honestly, most nights he would sleep absolutely butt naked. On top of that, he’d remove both his prosthetics. Something he hadn’t done in Mako’s presence before. He knew it wasn’t a taboo thing, he knew this deep down, but taking off both his arm and his leg around Mako... it almost made him feel vulnerable. Weak. And he wasn’t any of those things, nor did he want Mako to suddenly look at him with pity in his eyes if he saw him without his arm and leg.

All this time Mako had never treated him like anything less than a person, and if he lost that because of this... 

“Hey,”

Mako’s voice draws him back from his growing sense of panic and Jamison turned his head to see Mako standing there holding up a grey t-shirt with the words ‘Too much Monday’ on the front in large font. Looking down at the shirt, Mako shrugs a bit. “This was one of my cousins and it got left here a while back... think it’ll fit you for tonight?”

Jamison approaches the shirt and gives it a critical look. “Don’t see why not. Don’t want my naked ass sleepin’ here after all!” he half jokes, but is also genuinely half serious. 

The speed in which Mako’s face blushed would set a new land record. Which was absolutely adorable. And a little flattering if the mere idea of his naked butt was enough to get Mako to blush so hard.

“Anyway.” Mako recovered quickly, tossing him the t-shirt. “Get yourself comfy, turn on the TV if you want or something...”

He watched Mako make his way out of the room, probably to change for bed himself or something or another. Glancing around the room he indeed spot the television propped up on a bookshelf that was loaded with a variety of books. There were art books from movies, comic collections, and some books made of nothing but photography of pigs, and others of motor bikes. He wondered if Mako had hidden his ‘naughty’ stuff there. Still, the silence was uncomfortable and awkward since it was mixing with his nerves and anxiety so he made his way over to the television and picked up the remote to turn it on.

The noise of the television helped and, against his better judgement, Jamison tugged the bedding down to make it ready before he began to change. He stripped out of his clothes, tossing them over a chair in the corner, never one to fold his clothing that much, and he tugged the black shirt over his head. He left his white underwear on, and once he had the shirt on he sat on the bed and began to remove his arm and leg. 

After removing both he set them down on the bedside table, before looking down at his right arm, and leg, or what was left of them. The surgical scars were clean cut, no ugly scarring or remnants of stitching. Phantom pain was a fairly constant thing he went through, especially after a long hard day at work, but at least today it didn’t seem to be bad. He wouldn’t want to put Mako through him whining over phantom pain.

He settled himself on the bed, but then stopped. How would that look for Mako? Walking in to find Jamison laying on the bed in his underwear, limbs there for him to see, that might be... unnerving. Huffing, Jamison jerks himself up to be sitting instead, folding his arms in a way so his left hand subtly covers his right stump. He had half his forearm, after all, and was lacking his wrist and hand entirely. He still felt unnerved, and was just about reaching to at least re-attach his hand when the door opened again.

“Sorry, should have knocked first, are you--” Mako pushed his way into the door frame, and comes to a stop abruptly. He should have knocked before entering. Shit. Why didn’t he? 

But Jamison isn’t having the same thought process as Mako. He’s sitting on the bed, minus his arm and leg, and for the first time in their relationship he’s seeing Mako without his shirt on, as well as with his hair down. He’s seen him in tank tops, he’s seen those beautiful circular tattoos on his upper arms but never before has he seen his chest. 

The scarring is visible underneath his pecs, his nipples are pierced with round rings, one even has a tiny glowing piece on the ring. Jamison only looks for a second before looking up at Mako’s face, his left hand grabbing at his right arms stump to both ground himself, and a reminder that Mako hadn’t seen him like this before, either. 

Both men stare at one another for a moment before Mako steps in, closes the door behind him, and slowly approaches the bed. “The shirt fits okay?” is the first thing he asks as he moves to sit on the bed. “Not too baggy...?”

Jamison blinks a few times, before shaking his head and offering up a small smile. “Nah mate, fits fine.” he looks down at himself, hand holding onto his arm so tightly it may be scarred by his nails. 

Mako can sense the tense air. How can he not? He watches Jamison’s face, illuminated a little by the television light bouncing off of it. He looked scared, uncomfortable. He bites at his bottom lip, feeling his own fear begin to creep up his spine. He shifts against the bed, leaning closer towards Jamison. “Are you alright?” 

“What? Yeah, course I am, perfectly fine I’m--”

“You’re a shit liar.”

“...yeah that too.”

“Is it me?” Mako asks, anxiety beginning to grip his throat, his voice coming out as an unfortunate squeak. “I just-- I wanted to be me and, and--is it weird for you? Do you not--”

Jamison reaches with his only good hand, grabbing at Mako’s own, squeezing it as he draws himself closer. It’s a little awkward, using one foot for leverage, using it to lift and push himself closer to Mako but he manages it before pulling Mako’s hand up to his own face to press his cheek against their linked hands. “Nah, nah, Mako no, no you’re fuckin’ beautiful. You’re gorgeous ‘n I dunno what I even look like compared to you right now. Right skinny bloke with bald patches missin’ an arm and a leg what do you see in this, in me, I ain’t good at this shit I never been good at this, I’m sorry, I’m...”

His words are muffled when Mako kisses him. The knot building up in his chest bursts and unfolds, and even if the kiss only lasts a few small seconds it feels like it’s far longer. Large hands wrap around his hand now, as Mako presses his forehead against his. “I was thinking the same thing.” he admitted, voice weak, shaking despite his physical strength. “I’ve never... shown anyone my scars. No one not my family. Not like this. I thought you’d hate me for them, or-or something...”

“What--no! I don’t..!” this was ridiculous. Both of them were equally anxious and scared of showing themselves off to the other but for very different reasons. Jamison had to offer up a weak, shaking laugh before shaking his head and pressing his forehead down against Mako’s neck. “We’re a right bunch of idiots aren’t we?”

Releasing one hands grasp, Mako wraps his arm slowly around Jamison’s back, pressing his palm against the small of it. He smiled before shutting his eyes. “That’s why we fit so well together.” he whispered quietly. “Two idiots doing their best...”

The skinny man was quiet for a moment before he drew back, looking up at him with a weak smile. “Listen mate like I said... back when you ‘n me started this whole dating thing if I do something stupid ‘n upset you ya gotta let me know. I don’t wanna do anything that’ll make you feel bad bout yourself. Cuz that’s a crime in my book y’know?”

“A crime huh?” Mako asked, raising an eyebrow in a bemused fashion.

“Yeah!” he drew back further still, tugging his only good hand up to cup at Mako’s cheek, using his thumb to brush the man’s facial hair. Tickly. “If I ever go and do a thing or say a thing that’s wrong you gotta smack me up the head ‘n teach me proper yeah? I might look a right idiot but I like to think I’m not.”

“You’re not an idiot.” large eyebrows narrowed at such a statement.

“Lotta people reckon I am cuz of how I look, ‘n that’s fine I don’t care what they think. They don’t know me, and I don’t know them ‘n if someone did think me stupid well I don’t wanna know them.”

Mako slowly went from frowning at imaginary people who thought his boyfriend as stupid to a warm, soft smile because my God his boyfriend was amazing. He turned his head a bit, making a low hum. “Wanna... get into bed now?”

“Oh. Uh. Right, bed. That’s what we’re here about. Yeah, sure!” Jamison rambled as he unwound himself from his partner. 

It took a little shuffling and tugging, but soon Jamison was laying on a mattress that felt very different to his own back home. He didn’t have his body pillow to cling to this time, instead there was a very big form besides him that radiated heat that made being under the blankets very stuffy. But he couldn’t complain, course not. He lay down, rolling onto his right side and for a moment all he could see was Mako’s upper back and the back of his head. That black hair looked so different down, normally it was always tied back in a tight pony tail. Here it was flowing freely, and Jamison had a want to run his fingers through the silky looking locks but restrained himself. He never liked it when people touched his hair, so he expected Mako felt the same.

Mako, very carefully, rolled over onto his side so he was now properly facing the other. He’d never shared a bed with someone like this before. Sure, a few sleep overs in his childhood and Zarya had crashed at his place on more than one occasion after a wild night out but this? He could feel heat rising within him. He was one hundred percent sure he was blushing by now, too, as he more or less gazed at his boyfriend. 

Even now, a month later, the word boyfriend still felt so strange. He had a boyfriend. He was a boyfriend. They were dating. The odd skinny guy who always ordered the same thing every day was laying in his bed, looking at him with large, almost unblinking eyes.

They were unblinking because Jamison’s brain was rambling away within his skull. “Okay so we’re in his bed that’s nice it’s nice in here real warm and he’s so close oh God look at him he’s gorgeous I want to kiss him shit what if he wants me to what if he wants me to kiss him ‘n touch him what if he wants to DO IT I can’t do that ohh fuck he wouldn’t rush me yeah right he said he wouldn’t but it’s been a month is that long enough is it too long are we being fast shit I know some blokes who fuck on the first night or not even a date a one night stand is it normal to bang after a month dating how am I meant to is he okay with me touchin’ parts of him I don’t know I never touched a bloke before or anyone for that matter shit he’s lookin’ at me say something say something.”

“This beds real comfy!” he splutters, stupidly. “You sleep here a lot?”

Mako hummed a bit, curling himself forward against the warm bedding, pressing his temple against the pillow beneath his head. “Not a lot... not since I moved out. Whaea insists I stay here when I’m sick, so she can mother me...” he smiled a little. “She still treats me like her little kid. It’s nice, but... y’know. I’m a grown man now.”

“I don’t. Really know... but that’s nice of her.” Jamison admits, daring to bring a hand forward to just gently tap it against his chest. “That she loves you still so much. You’re a big bloke, deserve a lotta love.”

“Yeah?” Mako asks softly.

“Yeah, mean... I love you. A whole lot. I mean, different to how ya er... wee-aaeah does but y’know...” 

“I know.”

The two stared at one another in silence for a moment. In an ideal world, they would have kissed here. The kiss would have been powerful enough to melt ice caps, hands would’ve grasped desperately at one another as bodies pressed hungrily up against one another. But neither were the ideal romantic partner, since life was not a movie. They gaze at one another before Mako leaned in and pressed his temple against Jamison’s for but a moment. “G’night, Jamison.”

“Night, Mako...”

In the end, during the night, the two bodies did end up being drawn to one another. While Mako wound up laying on his side, arms out stretched, Jamison had snuggled up right against him. Laying on his right side means he’s sleeping on his amputated stumps is fine, as this means his one good arm can work its way over Mako’s sleeping form. His hand gently grips against the others upper collar bone, his face turned at an odd angle as he presses it right between Mako’s shoulder blades.

It felt comfortable.

It felt right.


End file.
